Django Unchained and the Quentin Tarantino Movie Soup Game

A perfect team: Christoph Waltz and Jamie Foxx as bounty hunters

Remind me never to make Quentin Tarantino angry‒ With each movie he seems to up the ante on his fantastical revenge scenarios. In Django Unchained, many scenes are genuinely disturbing (I had to look away several times) and the carnage sensational. In Tarantino land, blood doesn’t just spurt, it leaps from bodies, at times ten feet into the air. I found myself saying more than once: Dude, really?

Tarantino’s usual recipe for movies is in place: Snappy dialogue, insane characters, three or four movie genres, all tossed into a blender, whirr!! In Inglourious Basterds, I found this pot o’ Tarantino stew to be a bit more satisfying and vividly realized. While Django is similarly captivating, it doesn’t quite mesh, the violence seeming jarring and overblown. Nevertheless, the movie is still better than 95% of anything else out there, and I will watch it again for the actors’ brilliant work.

As a tribute to Tarantino’s mash-up style, I created a little after-dinner game to play with friends and family. Below I have the rules, plus my own try at the game.

Quentin Tarantino Movie Soup Game

Quentin Tarantino Movie Soup Game

I picked: Figure Skater, Drug Lord, Action

Sparkly Vengeance, a romantic action-skatingsploitation flick

Ex-figure skater Tonya Harding is Oregon’s most feared drug lord. Still bitter about her fall from grace, she follows her sport and tries to topple prestigious skaters. At a “chance” encounter at a skating exhibition in Portland, she meets retired gold-medalist Anton, played by Christoph Waltz, and introduces him to a special type of crystal meth known as “Sparkle.” Anton is immediately hooked, and proceeds to sully his reputation, floundering from one bar to the next. He is fired from his job as a glib skating commentator, forever disgraced.

Anton’s husband, William (Samuel L. Jackson), is incensed by what Tonya Harding has done. Powerless to wrest Anton from Sparkle’s addictive grip, he decides to destroy the drug’s source: A trailer park compound owned by Harding. William gathers a band of bad-ass male figure skaters, who, with rippling thigh muscles, leotards, and various armaments, storm the trailer park. In the final confrontation, William finds Tonya in the big trailer, overseeing a fresh batch of meth; he triple lutzes her in the chest, sending her flying into her equipment. He tosses a match into the mess and escapes from the trailer, to sashay away in his now ripped and bloodied leotard while the trailer explodes in the background.

Anyone else want to take a swing?

I am submitting this post to Dud(ette) Write, so head over and check out the other entries! Voting opens Sunday night.

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  1. Man, I bailed out on Tarintino quite some time ago. I can’t take the violence! Those images burn into my mind and stay there for a good, long while. If I were normal, like everyone else, I’d be able to walk out of the theater and dismiss what I just saw a an entertainment and get on with my life. But that stuff plays over and over in my mind’s eye. Especially at night when the lights are all out and I’m starring at the ceiling. Pity, really. He’s a good filmmaker. I hear.

    Will take a pass on your game for fear that it might reveal my dark recesses to be even more horrifically violent than his.
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    • winopants says:

      I’m a wimp for violence these days. You should try to watch Inglourious Basterds though- the violence is too surreal and cartoonish to be taken seriously. The parts that have you on edge have nothing to do with people getting blown away, but with the dialogue, in some intense, long scenes. If you enjoy old-school film making, without all the cut, cut, cut blather, you should check it out. I think it’s one of my favorite movies, even for all its quirks.
      Oh and Christoph Waltz is a boss in that flick. Straight up genius.

  2. I’m a big fan of violence, and a big fan of Tarantino, so I’m actually stoked to see this.

    I pick a Cat Hoarder, an Escaped Convict, and a Romantic Comedy.

    An escaped convict on the lam hides out with a cat hoarder, only to fall in love with said hoarder. But when the convict kills Muffins (Samuel L. Jackson) and Muffins #2 (Christopher Waltz), the cat hoarder’s 2 favorite cats, the hoarder will set up an elaborate revenge that involves getting eaten by 183 angry housecats in this retro-romantic-noir-horror mashup.

    The Hoarder.

    • winopants says:

      Muffins one and two, gah! I’m dying picturing CW and SJ in tacky cat costumes- thank you!
      You haven’t seen Django yet? An MS Paint review would be amazing :)

  3. Hi-larious! What a creative game – now I see how Tarantino does it! THE SECRET REVEALED! It feels like I just met the Wizard of Oz…
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  4. workingdan says:

    That actually sounds kinda fun. I might give this a try when I have the spare time.
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    • winopants says:

      I’m a big fan of games, even simple things like Apples to Apples. I think it’s my competitive nature and the fact that I’m still about 8 years old mentally

  5. The Hedonist says:

    HIlarious! Still trying to wrangle some free time to see it

    • winopants says:

      It’s worth checking out, people in the theater (in my very hippie, non-violent community) even clapped when it was over

  6. Gorilla Bananas says:

    Tarentino is a huge fan of The Good, The Bad and the Ugly, so he’s constantly trying to recreate the mixture of sadistic violence, black humour and stylishly amoral characters in that movie. But he can’t quite do it, because his characters are 2-dimensional and repulsive. I’ve never wanted to watch a movie of his twice. I just have a look at his latest tricks and move on.

    • winopants says:

      “Tricks” definitely describes a lot of what he does. Holds my interest at least, even when I feel it doesn’t work for me

  7. Valerie says:

    Tarantino scares the hell out of me. Once I had a dream he was chasing me dressed as a clown… I woke up crying. I have never truly forgiven him for that…


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    • winopants says:

      Oh god, he would make a terrifying clown. Though if he were to chase you, I’m sure it would only be to talk about movies

  8. Gossip Grl says:

    I’m not much of a Tarantino fan, but I definitely think your Sparkly Vengeance has potential for the silver screen! :) What can I say? I would watch it. Your post is hilarious and I haven’t had a drink of anything yet!

    • winopants says:

      I think it has potential, but how to convince the actors to sign on? There’s the challenge. Though I could undoubtedly get Tonya Harding to play herself as long as the paycheck was big enough

  9. Great game.

    I picked Computer Nerd, Drug Lord, Adventure

    Reservoir Bytes
    Computer hacker Dexter (played by Christoph Waltz) accidentally steals the identity of a local drug lord. Through the help of a robot he built (played by Samuel L. Jackson) he’s able to take over the drug lord’s business and the two of them movie to South America for the adventure of a life time. Lots of gun violence.
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  10. This sounds fun! Let’s go with Poker Player, Genocidal Dictator, Sci-Fi Horromance.

    In the future souls can be traded as currency. A down-on-his-luck poker player (Samuel L. Jackson) loses one bet he really shouldn’t have, and is forced to give up his soul to a genocidal dictator Christoph Waltz. Souls still have to reside in a body, however, and when SLJ takes up residence in CW’s skin, the sparks of passion start to fly. Also the sparks of gunpowder and katanas. And then aliens start popping out of stomachs.
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    • winopants says:

      Bravo. Alien Chris Waltz and Samuel Jackson babies would definitely be scary, but I wonder if they would be good or bad?

  11. Ericamos says:

    I love Tarantino! My claim to fame is that he dropped out of my high school. (if I didn’t want to be a teacher so badly, I would have dropped out of my high school too…so glad those days are over!) In any case, I want to see your movie so bad! I don’t think any future player could ever top that.
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    • winopants says:

      Well, I dropped out of highschool and went to JC early, wanting to transfer into a film program- Until I realized how ridiculously expensive it would be, opps! So I got a BA in a useless major instead, which is almost as good, right?

  12. Bee says:

    I absolutely love Pulp Fiction and Inglourious Basterds. He did have a few bombs though, like that recent Kung Fu one with Lucy Liu, the title of which I don’t even know. But I’m definitely hoping my husband and I can see Django Unchained this weekend.
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  13. This is so clever! And hilarious. I’m too much of a chicken shit to handle a Tarantino movie.
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  14. WilyGuy says:

    You had me, right up until Samuel L does the sashay…now, put Travolta in the role and maybe.

    I love this idea and perhaps will have to feature it. Perhaps you want to lend it to Dude Write for one of our “specials” and you can guest edit? (This in no way implies any curried favor (or chicken))

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  15. TriGirl says:

    I feel like I need to sleep on this and come back when I can come up with something clever! I love all the movie plots so far! Right now I’m leaning toward a stripper/drug lord/sci-fi-western-film noir.
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  16. Kianwi says:

    That is so clever! I can’t do Tarantino, because I spend too much of the movie peeking through my fingers like a fiver year old :)

    Let’s see, I pick cat hoarder, genocidal dictator and romantic comedy. A genocidal dictator has to, for some contrived reason, move in with a cat hoarder. At first he is on his best behavior, and the two form a quirky relatinsohip, full of funny expressions and witty one-liners. But slowly, the hoarder starts to find her cats separated into different rooms of the house, seemingly based on breed. When she catches the genocidal dictator running a tube from the exhaust pipe on a running car into the “Siamese” room, she somehow captures him and ties him to a chair in a bedroom. Days later, after the cats have gone without food, she coats him in salmon oil, opens the bedroom door and the hungry cats stream inside licking their little kitty chops…
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    • winopants says:

      Ah those poor Siamese! Your cat revenge plot is brilliant, I wouldn’t be surprised to see something like this in a Tarantino flick someday :)

  17. Stacie says:

    I rarely go to movies anymore – not because I don’t want to. It just kind of fell by the wayside once we had kids (16 years ago…). Ever since I saw Reservoir Dogs, I am wary of Tarantino. I feel like I can NEVER watch his movies twice because they are so disturbing. I know it’s art though. This was so funny! I pick a computer nerd against a convict, sci-fi style.
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    • winopants says:

      I never could get into Reservoir Dogs for some reason. I’ve seen it but I don’t remember anything about it- not a good sign

  18. I think I would be willing to pay to see your movie. Tights, thigh muscles and mobile homes blowing up? Perfect.
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  19. christie says:

    I think you may be a genuis. I am scared of his movies because of violence, but this post was awesome.

  20. Michael says:

    I generally like Tarintino movies, although I agree with you with the blood spillage defying gravity silliness. Its one of the reason’s I didn’t like the Kill Bill series as much. The biggest complaint I have about Tarintino movies, is when Tarintino acts (I use the word act VERY loosely). It’s very painful to watch. He has to be the worst actor I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe no one has told him. I guess if you are making the movies you can do whatever you want, but he’s gawd-awful-terrible. Welcome to Dude Write!
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    • winopants says:

      He “acts” in Django and it is particularly painful as he has a Aussie accent. Something happens to redeem this however, but I don’t want to give it away!

  21. I’ve never been a Tarentino fan, but every man I have ever dated has been. Too bad none of them had the creativity to play your game!
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  22. Ken says:

    Welcome to Dude Write!

    Neat idea! So, Stripper, bank robber, Cop-drama.

    There’s this bank robber, (MF’n, Samual L Jackson) and he’s laying low in strip clubs, after pulling the biggest bank robbery of all time. He’s in love with this stripper. (probably Juliette Lewis) She’s in love with a cop (Christoph Waltz. (Because really, I’d like to hear him interrogating somebody. I love his voice!) The cop is trying to find the MF’n bank robber and he knows that he’s been frequenting strip clubs. Anyways’ the bank robber is in the strip clubs because he’s using them to cash in his large bills to make change for small bills. And nobody asks questions when you’re trying to make change at a strip club. Also, he’s really bad around women and wants to get to know the stripper, but his turrets makes him come off as a bit of an ass. The stripper hates him because of this, and also, because he always has so many small bills.

    The cop has over time, by following the trail of the marked bills, narrowed his search to the one strip club. But he’s pretending to be just a regular patron to get in tight with the strippers, so he can get info and make the bust. The stripper, thinking he’s just a regular joe (with an awesome voice) makes advances toward the cop only to be rejected, also, he lets her in on the secret that he’s a cop. She’s so distraught by this, she kills herself on stage, during her act, while calling him out and letting everyone know who he actually is.

    This drives the bank robber into a fit of rage and he attacks the cop and they have this grand, horrific battle in the strip club, while naked strippers continue to dance and screaming patrons run for their life from the blood bath. They end up shooting each other in the head as one dollar bills rain from the ceiling.

    After the credits, they have this little cinematic moment where we find out the bank robber has left the remainder of the money, which is hidden in some Swiss bank account, to the stripper illegitimate infant.


    fun post! :)
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  23. I got “poker player,” “scam artist,” and “romantic comedy” and then realized that I could write an accurate script about a certain 2-month period of my life.
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  24. WilyGuy says:

    Hey…about lending the idea. Email me when you get a chance. Or tweet (how ridiculous does that sound to say)
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  25. Daniel Nest says:

    Ha, now we just need to get Tarantino on board and Sparkly Vengeance will be hitting the theatres by Christmas! Cool game, I’ll be playing on DudeWrite – stay tuned for something this weekend.
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  26. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on django unchained.
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