The Other Vineyard Guest House Mystery
Distracted by the novelty of my spooky haunting experience from our recent Napa vacation, I forgot to talk about something else that happened in our guesthouse, something equally disturbing.
We were sitting in bed reading. My wine textbook (I have an exam coming up, ugh) was threatening to put me to sleep; I was on New Zealand, which, while wines from this region are delightful, learning facts and figures about their local production is about as fun as memorizing the ingredients on a cereal box: “Mountains, pinot, north, south, fog, seashells, blerg, blerg, blerg…”
I was saying some of the sentences out loud to try and stay awake. Lorenzo thought it would be funny to interject with some Lord of the Rings-themed commentary.
“15% of the wine can come from outside the labeled region,” I started to say.
“15% of the wine can be made by hobbits?” he said, not looking up from his reader.
“I could see hobbits being into wine. Especially pinot. Pinot is very hobbity.”
We suddenly heard a low groaning noise. We both looked at each other and stayed quiet listening.
It didn’t sound like creaky old farmhouse noise, and seemed to be coming from outside; Outside in the dark country lane around our secluded, lonely guesthouse…
Of course, as soon as we started listening the noise stopped, so we went back to chatting. But it came again a few minutes later, louder. We listened closely and it continued.
Murrr, MURRRR MuMurrrr.
“What the hell?”
“Is it an owl? I saw an owl box in the vineyard,” I suggested.
“That would have to be a pretty big ass owl.”
MUUR, MU, MU MURRRR.
“Nope, that’s definitely a cow,” Lorenzo said.
Now that it was louder, the noise was clearly cow-like. But I’d never heard a cow sound so, well, distressed. Was it fighting, angry, hungry, or being bothered by some bored ranch hands?
MUUURRR, MuuOOOOmur, MUURR.
“Umm, I think it’s having sex,” he added. My boyfriend was not trying to be pervy, it’s just what it sounded like.
Cow sex. Awesome. First a ghost, and now loudly humping cows.
Why Wine Tasting in the Winter is More Fun
No crowds and boatloads of atmosphere, yeah!